tales and dreams are the shadow-truths

youknowyoureafloridianwhen:

I try to keep this blog clean, but this is just too funny not to share…

Today’s Weather: 100% chance of handjobs over Florida 

(Source: flyingscotsman)

benppollack:

JC Penney’s new ad for Father’s Day

The text reads: 

“First Pals: What makes Dad so cool? He’s the swim coach, tent maker, best friend, bike fixer and hug giver—all rolled into one. Or two.” The text at the bottom reads: “Real-life dads, Todd Koch and Cooper Smith with their children Claire and Mason.”

I will shop there just because of this.

Rest of list here. Fun fact: Some anagram services simply rejected his name. “Titmice.” Huh.

andtheleavesthataregreen:

Yes Harry, that is exactly what happened.

sherlocked-inside-the-tardis:

antiquedeathsquad:

thedragonflystorm:

I don’t know how to explain this. I regret nothing.

Oh god. I snorted.

OH MY GOD

squirrelsmile:

veiledsentiments:

doctorsaxon:

bene-lock-sher-batch:

hashtag-wholock:

getoutofmykitchensherlock:

Best. Trend. Ever. 

BLESS YOU

I owe you a pancake.

They were the footprints of a monstrous pancake.

I could cut myself slapping that pancake.

You have never been the most luminous person in the world, but as a pancake of light you are unbeatable!

Sherlock Holmes is a great man, and some day, if we’re very very lucky, he may even be a pancake.

Consider me to be, my dear pancake, very sincerely yours.

One more thing, for me, pancake…  don’t…  be…  eaten.

Not your pancake.

There’s been a pancake.
Not our division.

Anderson, turn your pancake, you’re putting me off.

The clue is in the name.  Janus Pancakes.

Well this is a pancake, isn’t it Sherlock?

Oh don’t be stupid, there’s someone else holding the pancake.

That was brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
That’s not what people usually say.
What do people usually say?
Pancake.

Is yours a pancake?

No, it’s not!  It’s not pancake!

Keep your pancakes fixed on me.

Pancake rush.

There was never any pancake, doofus!

THAT’S WHAT PANCAKES DO!

You know what he calls you? The iceman and the pancake.

JESUS CHRIST IT WAS THE PANCAKE!

What is it like in your funny little pancakes? Must be so boring.

“Brilliant Anderson.” “Really?” “Yes, brilliant impression of a pancake”.

Before Bluebell disappeared, it turned pancake.

I don’t have friends. I’ve just got pancake.

I will burn the pancake out of you.

Anderson, don’t talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole pancake.

doctorwho:

What if…

ijwalker:

What if the reason breaking a mirror brings you seven years of bad luck is because you let Lucy Cartwright from the Family Of Blood out of her mirror prison and she haunts you for seven years???

velociraptorsarah:

pineapplesonthetardis:

i-m-just-another-stolen-relic:

ask-anemone:

saladburps:

televisionismydivision:

WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE

YOUVE CREATED A GOD

((HE’S GORGEOUS))

OMFG WORDS CANNOT EXPLAIN WHAT I FEEL RIGHT KNOW

There is literally drool on my keyboard. I guess I should just be glad you didn’t factor Matt Smith into this; otherwise the universe might implode from the strain of supporting so much sex on one (possibly) human face.                           

resurrecttheliving:

thelasthostofchristendom:

I drank the Kool-Aid. I saw The Avengers.

And now I have decided that I am going to marry Tom Hiddleston.

Hahahahahahhahahaha, suffer with us, Mary. SUFFER.

I drank the Kool-Aid.